Madeline did not go back to school. For some months she remained at home with the De Bernys; White, in his indolent way, postponing the question of where she was to go next.He was a good deal occupied at this time with the adaptation of a new play which was being acted with great success at the Porte St. Martin, and, as it was necessary to see the play represented by the French actors, he spent some weeks in Paris. He discovered that by carefully lopping the leading idea, making the chief female virtuous instead of vicious, altering the scenes, and turning the moral upside down, he could make the great drama pure enough for the sight of the British playgoer. His English manager approved, sent him a small cheque on account, and begged him ‘to do the trick’ as quickly as possible.
At this period, therefore, Madeline was thrown more and more into the society of Mademoiselle Mathilde. That vision of loveliness found the child useful, sent her on endless errands, made of her a sort of companion in miniature, and extempore lady’s maid. Madeline was only too delighted to serve and worship, and great was her joy when any of the cast-off splendour fell to her share. One evening Madame de Berny took her to the theatre, on the occasion of her daughter’s ‘benefit.’ There was a serio-comedy in which Mathilde played the leading part, and a burlesque to follow, in which (for that occasion only, for she generally despised burlesque) she enacted a fairy prince. Madeline was entranced; the spell of the footlights came upon her once and for ever.
That night, after they had returned home, and the Vision had supped well on oysters and bottled stout, Madeline proffered a request which had lately become one with her‘Oh, Mamzelle, let me brush your hair!’Mathilde took a sleepy sensuous pleasure in that part of her toilette, and would sit by the hour together under the soothing manipulation of the brush. So she let down her golden locks, and placed herself, with her eyes half closed, before the mirror, while Madeline began her task, prattling between whiles of the theatre, of all the wonders she had seen, and of the longing that would possess her until she saw them again.
‘I used to feel like you once,’ yawned Mathilde, ‘when I was a dear little thing, with my hair growing down to my waist, and little satin shoes on my feet, and Pa used to take me to the pantomimes. Ah, dear, that’s over and done. I hate the theatre.You hate it, Mamzelle?’‘Yes, and sometimes I hate Pa for ever letting me go nigh to it. I suppose it all comes of Ma marrying a Frenchman; for Pa used to teach me to say those long speeches in rhyme out of the French plays, and then I got a taste for recitation. But I hate French now, and I hate the theatre. It’s nothing but worry and vexation. There was only five pounds ten in the stalls to-night besides the tickets Pa and Ma sold, and the dress circle was not half full. Did you notice a dark fat man in a private box, who threw a bouquet to Miss Harlington?’
Until he reached the age of twelve, Georgie's education was a domestic process; tutors came to the house; and those citizens who yearned for his taking down often said: "Just wait till he has to go to public school; then he'll get it!" But at twelve Georgie was sent to a private school in the town, and there came from this small and dependent institution no report, or even rumour, of Georgie's getting anything that he was thought to deserve; therefore the yearning still persisted, though growing gaunt with feeding upon itself. For, although Georgie's pomposities and impudence in the little school were often almost unbearable, the teachers were fascinated by him. They did not like him—he was too arrogant for that—but he kept them in such a state of emotion that they thought more about him than they did about all of the other ten pupils. The emotion he kept them in was usually one resulting from injured self-respect, but sometimes it was dazzled admiration. So far as their conscientious observation went, he "studied" his lessons sparingly; but sometimes, in class, he flashed an admirable answer, with a comprehension not often shown by the pupils they taught; and he passed his examinations easily. In all, without discernible effort, he acquired at this school some rudiments of a liberal education and learned nothing whatever about himself.
1. Forget about Hogging Attention
People love it when they feel cared for and important. That’s why so many of us are programmed to ‘want’ attention.
The irony is that the more you try to hog attention for You Find ZMOT yourself, the more off-putting you become.
Conversely, you become more likable as you give people the time, space and attention to share who they are and what’s important to them.
Think back to a time when you’ve had some of the best conversations with some of the most remarkable and charming people in your life – weren’t they the ones who gave you the space and time to speak your mind, talk about your day and how you felt? Weren’t they also the ones who picked up on what you said and related back to it? I’m guessing that you were probably the one who did most of the talking, and they did most of the listening.
Being likable doesn’t really require lots of work, really. Sometimes, it’s as easy as reversing the role of the speaker and listener.
2. Forget about Pleasing Everybody
“I’ve learned that it’s not our job to You Find ZMOT make other people happy” – Steve Harvey, American Comedian and
Truly likable people are comfortable with who they are. They are relaxed and comfortable in their own skin, their strengths and weaknesses.
They recognize that no matter how hard they try, they will never be perfect, and they’re comfortable being vulnerable and being real.
Brene Brown, a psychologist and researcher who studied and wrote extensively on the topic of being vulnerable and authenticity, shares that learning about and being able to accept our vulnerabilities actually helps strengthen our personal identities, but also the way we relate and connect with people.
Whilst being “real” may not help you win everybody over, it will certainly help you win over the people who matter – and I, and I believe like many others, have learned through experience that being authentic and sincere is a big draw when it comes to likability as a person.
3. Forget about Where You ‘Should’ Be At and Focus on Where You Are At
The Dalai Lama once shared that people have a tendency to think about work, when they are at pleasure, and think about pleasure when they are at work.
The result is that the person finds neither satisfaction You Find ZMOT nor happiness when they are at work or at play.
Our inability to be present affects our internal balance, without which we are unable to experience peace of mind and joy.
Being constantly distracted also affects our ability to pay due attention to the people we are with, and prevents you from fully and freely expressing who you are.
Being present – being in the moment – provides you with an immense advantage when it comes to connecting and relating to people, and we will do well not to squander that opportunity.
4. Forget about How Much Money You’ve Got
The worth and dignity of a person transcends beyond the the amount of money they have in their wallet.
Yet, there are people in the world who appear to measure the worth of a person by the amount of money they have.
If you’ve seen this social experiment, you’d probably agree on who the dirt bags are – and there’s a fair chance they’re not very likeable with the average person either.
The irony of the matter is that to those who judge others based on how much money they have, they too will be judged by others (and themselves even) when they come across a richer person like them.
Truly likable people do not measure the worth of a person based on money – they relate to the common man or woman and see money as a tool to get things done.
1. When you’re busy, you aren’t present.
Life is made up of hundreds of thousands of moments. Some that move us, others travel trade news that change us, and some that provoke us to action. Being busy takes us away from those moments.
Millennial expert Jullien Gordon has a remedy for this: know the difference between being a workaholic vs. a high performer. The former wants to look more important, but the latter seeks out important work. Knowing the difference can help you do more in each moment of your day.
2. When you’re busy, you opt out of opportunities.
Opportunities are everywhere. They come up in coffee shops, via social media outlets like Twitter, and through mutual connections. When you’re busy, you often miss opportunities because you only see them as distractions, not spaces for you to grow and advance.
3. When you’re busy, you confuse motion for progress.
We all want to do more with what we have. Unfortunately, we think being busy means we are making strides. The Pareto Principle presents another hypothesis which deserves some attention. It states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your time. If you are able to figure out what that 20% looks like (and the actions you take to get there), you can create immeasurable leverage. That means you’ll spend more time doing the things that really drive you toward your goals, and not just “things” to fill space.
4. When you’re busy, you don’t prioritize effectively.
Priorities are how we separate the things that we need to do, versus Business Centre in Hong Kong ones that we should. They keep us in line and on track. But when we are too busy, everything seems like it needs to be done. It doesn’t. When you identify what matters versus what can wait, you become efficient with your time, allowing you to do the things you really want to do and with more regularity.
5. When you’re busy, you make excuses for actual problems.
When we have so much to do, sometimes we can’t focus on problems. That can be productive, but unhealthy. Issues in our lives can only be ignored until they seep into other places where they shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t wait until you’re on the verge of a breakdown to address something that’s hurting you. But when you’re too busy, sometimes that’s the only way to get your own attention. Don’t wait for it to get there.
6. When you’re busy, you’re more prone to multitask (which your brain hates).
How many tabs do you have open right now? I average between six hong kong company secretary service and nine on a good day. That alone damages my brain by 40%. That productivity we so desperately crave is undermined when we do a lot of things at once. That workflow has to stop. It feels great, but it’s terrible for you.
Instead, try a new workflow. Single-tasking is exactly what it sounds like: doing one task, with no distractions. It may take some time to adopt this new type of workflow, but it will do wonders for you in the long term.
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her.
On the walls of the childrens wing in the Akershus Universityhospital near Oslo, bright art shines. Highly skilled and trained personell runs and bikes through the corridors, hong kong register company figures in strongly colored paper tremble in the wake of their passage.
This place should be cheerful.
A doctor makes her second attempt at finding a vein in the arm of my 14 days old girl. No luck. The veins in her head are easier to locate.
Anna cries at every touch. Breastfeeding, the favorite activity in her short life, seems without interest. Sometimes she forgets to breathe, and we must stroke her chest to remind her.
Four days ago I slept fitfully at the same place with Tourism Board Corporate Information another child. Aleksander, my oldest, came to me after bedtime, crying. Every breath hurt.
At the hospital, every conceivable test was taken. X-rays, ultrasound, EKG, CRP, culture growth, urinesamples - nothing was found. Aleksander, who without flinching gets tackled on the soccerfield, cried. The next morning he was fine.
The Pakistani girl keeps struggling. Anna turns grey. Her CRP indicates an infection; a tube in her nose brings breastmilk to her stomach while the IV in her head provides antibiotics and saline.
In a quiet room of the hospital, my body clenches. Tears flood my eyes.
I take two deep breaths. No time for tears. Not yet.
Back in 1997, my wife woke me in the middle of the night. Something was wrong with the five-month old fetus inside her.
A few hours later she miscarried in this hospital.
I wrote a song to the little girl that left us.
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