1. Forget about Hogging Attention
People love it when they feel cared for and important. That’s why so many of us are programmed to ‘want’ attention.
The irony is that the more you try to hog attention for yourself, the more off-putting you become.
Conversely, you become more likable as you give people the time, space and attention to share who they are and what’s important to them.
Think back to a time when you’ve had some of the best conversations with some of the most remarkable and charming people in your life – weren’t they the ones who gave you the space and time to speak your mind, talk about your day and how you felt? Weren’t they also the ones who picked up on what you said and related back to it? I’m guessing that you were probably the one who did most of the talking, and they did most of the listening.
Being likable doesn’t really require lots of work, really. Sometimes, it’s as easy as reversing the role of the speaker and listener.
2. Forget about Pleasing Everybody
“I’ve learned that it’s not our job to make other people happy” – Steve Harvey, American Comedian and
Truly likable people are comfortable with who they are. They are relaxed and comfortable in their own skin, their strengths and weaknesses.
They recognize that no matter how hard they try, they will never be perfect, and they’re comfortable being vulnerable and being real.
Brene Brown, a psychologist and researcher who studied and wrote extensively on the topic of being vulnerable and authenticity, shares that learning about and being able to accept our vulnerabilities actually helps strengthen our personal identities, but also the way we relate and connect with people.
Whilst being “real” may not help you win everybody over, it will certainly help you win over the people who matter – and I, and I believe like many others, have learned through experience that being authentic and sincere is a big draw when it comes to likability as a person.
3. Forget about Where You ‘Should’ Be At and Focus on Where You Are At
The Dalai Lama once shared that people have a tendency to think about work, when they are at pleasure, and think about pleasure when they are at work.
The result is that the person finds neither satisfaction nor happiness when they are at work or at play.
Our inability to be present affects our internal balance, without which we are unable to experience peace of mind and joy.
Being constantly distracted also affects our ability to pay due attention to the people we are with, and prevents you from fully and freely expressing who you are.
Being present – being in the moment – provides you with an immense advantage when it comes to connecting and relating to people, and we will do well not to squander that opportunity.
4. Forget about How Much Money You’ve Got
The worth and dignity of a person transcends beyond the the amount of money they have in their wallet.
Yet, there are people in the world who appear to measure the worth of a person by the amount of money they have.
If you’ve seen this social experiment, you’d probably agree on who the dirt bags are – and there’s a fair chance they’re not very likeable with the average person either.
The irony of the matter is that to those who judge others based on how much money they have, they too will be judged by others (and themselves even) when they come across a richer person like them.
Truly likable people do not measure the worth of a person based on money – they relate to the common man or woman and see money as a tool to get things done.
1. When you’re busy, you aren’t present.
Life is made up of hundreds of thousands of moments. Some that move us, others travel trade news that change us, and some that provoke us to action. Being busy takes us away from those moments.
Millennial expert Jullien Gordon has a remedy for this: know the difference between being a workaholic vs. a high performer. The former wants to look more important, but the latter seeks out important work. Knowing the difference can help you do more in each moment of your day.
2. When you’re busy, you opt out of opportunities.
Opportunities are everywhere. They come up in coffee shops, via social media outlets like Twitter, and through mutual connections. When you’re busy, you often miss opportunities because you only see them as distractions, not spaces for you to grow and advance.
3. When you’re busy, you confuse motion for progress.
We all want to do more with what we have. Unfortunately, we think being busy means we are making strides. The Pareto Principle presents another hypothesis which deserves some attention. It states that 80% of your results come from 20% of your time. If you are able to figure out what that 20% looks like (and the actions you take to get there), you can create immeasurable leverage. That means you’ll spend more time doing the things that really drive you toward your goals, and not just “things” to fill space.
4. When you’re busy, you don’t prioritize effectively.
Priorities are how we separate the things that we need to do, versus Business Centre in Hong Kong ones that we should. They keep us in line and on track. But when we are too busy, everything seems like it needs to be done. It doesn’t. When you identify what matters versus what can wait, you become efficient with your time, allowing you to do the things you really want to do and with more regularity.
5. When you’re busy, you make excuses for actual problems.
When we have so much to do, sometimes we can’t focus on problems. That can be productive, but unhealthy. Issues in our lives can only be ignored until they seep into other places where they shouldn’t be. You shouldn’t wait until you’re on the verge of a breakdown to address something that’s hurting you. But when you’re too busy, sometimes that’s the only way to get your own attention. Don’t wait for it to get there.
6. When you’re busy, you’re more prone to multitask (which your brain hates).
How many tabs do you have open right now? I average between six hong kong company secretary service and nine on a good day. That alone damages my brain by 40%. That productivity we so desperately crave is undermined when we do a lot of things at once. That workflow has to stop. It feels great, but it’s terrible for you.
Instead, try a new workflow. Single-tasking is exactly what it sounds like: doing one task, with no distractions. It may take some time to adopt this new type of workflow, but it will do wonders for you in the long term.
Silent tears hit hospital-white sheets. The young Pakistani mother holds the mask that brings moisture, oxygen and medicine to her babygirls lungs as she struggles against the slime that threatens to suffocate her.
On the walls of the childrens wing in the Akershus Universityhospital near Oslo, bright art shines. Highly skilled and trained personell runs and bikes through the corridors, hong kong register company figures in strongly colored paper tremble in the wake of their passage.
This place should be cheerful.
A doctor makes her second attempt at finding a vein in the arm of my 14 days old girl. No luck. The veins in her head are easier to locate.
Anna cries at every touch. Breastfeeding, the favorite activity in her short life, seems without interest. Sometimes she forgets to breathe, and we must stroke her chest to remind her.
Four days ago I slept fitfully at the same place with Tourism Board Corporate Information another child. Aleksander, my oldest, came to me after bedtime, crying. Every breath hurt.
At the hospital, every conceivable test was taken. X-rays, ultrasound, EKG, CRP, culture growth, urinesamples - nothing was found. Aleksander, who without flinching gets tackled on the soccerfield, cried. The next morning he was fine.
The Pakistani girl keeps struggling. Anna turns grey. Her CRP indicates an infection; a tube in her nose brings breastmilk to her stomach while the IV in her head provides antibiotics and saline.
In a quiet room of the hospital, my body clenches. Tears flood my eyes.
I take two deep breaths. No time for INSTITUT ESTHEDERM tears. Not yet.
Back in 1997, my wife woke me in the middle of the night. Something was wrong with the five-month old fetus inside her.
A few hours later she miscarried in this hospital.
I wrote a song to the little girl that left us.
Surround yourself with things that make you happy
Some argue that a clean desk results in an unobstructed mind. While that may be true for some, a lot of people find liberation in the freedom to decorate their own desks according to their tastes. Decorating your desk with personal items is a great reminder that, although you more or less have to spend 8 fully furnished apartment hours a day here, you still have a life away from your desk.Good reminders of this are pictures of loved ones, art you enjoy, an inspirational slogan or saying on a sticky note, a fake plant, and other trinkets and small objects that will arouse creativity.
But be aware: there’s always a fine line with decor, and this is no different.
Enjoy window peeping
If possible, request a desk near the window. While some may find this distracting, putting yourself in a position to observe and consume natural light has many health benefits. It’s nice to be able to rest your eyes from growing droopy and tired staring at a computer screen all day. Looking out the window helps you avoid the eye strain caused from a lack of blinking when you’re zoning out on your work.
Listen to some groovy tracks
A workplace can be a hectic and noisy mess, especially if you only have a desk opposed to your own office. Even though sometimes people feel rude for doing this, putting on headphones to drown out the chaos can increase productivity and creativity by narrowing your focus of attention. Plus, even if you feel you aren’t artistic, music is a subtle but powerful way to express yourself artistically. It can evoke your deepest desires, inviting you to imagine yourself completing the task at hand, succeeding, and being rewarded appropriately for it. For these reasons, music availability at your desk is a must.
With all the research and discovery on the subject, we know that sitting all day will kill you faster. Thankfully, many companies are now rewarding employees who are conscious about their health decisions. Those inquiring about extracurricular options like gym memberships, organizing a company 5k fun agents voyage run, or putting together a company softball rec team are usually given a smile and the “go ahead.”
Standing desks are now thrown into this request pool. Though they are fairly expensive for the company, having the option to stand as easily as you have one to sit will add years to your life.
Give yourself a break
This one may seem like the most obvious of the bunch, and the least about actual desk organization, but it’s probably the most essential. One of the best ways to increase productivity is to leave your desk frequently during the day. Don’t go printing this article out and waiving it in your bosses face as a valid excuse to take 168 photocopies of your rear end, but this is important.
I find that drinking an obscene amount of water is not only healthy, but also encourages me to stand up and walk around not only to refill my canteen, but also to relieve my Zung Fu small child sized bladder. Again, this is no valid reason to slack off at work intentionally, but getting away and walking around for 5 minutes can be the mental refresher to get you over any mental slump.
If you notice that some of these are useless, or not as impactful on your workspace, experiment a bit. Even if your current setup is working for you brilliantly, be aware of the value in rearranging every so often.
1. “You are enough.”
Before going on stage, actress and singer Demi Lovato tells herself: “I am enough.”
She uses this to silence her limiting beliefs about both her achievements and her body image. For Lovato:
“‘I am enough’ means being comfortable with offshore company registration in hong kong your body, with what you have achieved — and with what you haven’t. It means accepting who you are without caveats. It means rising to the bar you’ve set for yourself instead of conforming to the outlandish expectations of others. It translates to a confession of self-acceptance, and it’s something we could all stand to say to ourselves more often.”
2. “You make it happen.”
Aarthi Ramamurthy, founder of Lumoid, borrows this self-talk script from a Michael Jordan quote: “Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.”
It’s simple as that. Tell yourself to go out and take action.
3. “You give of your talents freely, and you are wonderfully blessed financially.”
This script is from the classic book The Power of the Subconcious Mind by Dr.Joseph Murphy.
The idea is to assume that success is inevitable, especially if you constantly help others using your talents. Wealth is a by-product of your effort to provide value in the world.
4. “You are possible.”
Actress Audrey Hepburn was quoted as saying, “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”
Except where it violates the laws of physics, anything is often possible. But most people wait until they’re “ready”.
Instead, tell yourself “You are possible” and take the first step. Then the second. Don’t let perfection paralyze you. Just put one foot in front of the other and you’ll achieve success.
What other negative beliefs can you flip around just by re-arranging letters? How about this: instead of “No Way”, say “Now, ay!”
5. “Stay focused. Stay positive. Keep your chin up and your serviced apartments in hong kong feet on the ground.”
Amy Sacco, founder and partner of the Bungalow 8 nightclub chain in New York City and London, tells herself this script every day while blasting her favorite songs.
Borrow this idea yourself and take your self-talk to a new level by playing the high-energy tunes you love while verbalizing the script out loud.
6. “Trust yourself and your gut rather than conventional wisdom.”
This script by Linda Boff, an executive director at GE, reminds you to be skeptical of the experts, to test everything, and base your decision on what you think will work for you.
Like Amy, Linda also accompanies her self-talk with music:
“I love the theatre and often have a song going through my head. One that I frequently turn to in the morning as a motivator is the song ‘Defying Gravity,’ from ‘Wicked.’ It always picks me up and reminds me to trust myself and my gut rather than conventional wisdom.”
7. “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”
Steve Jobs delivered this line during a commencement speech at Stanford University in 2005. He said that he was inspired by the final issue of The Whole Earth Catalog magazine:
“It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
And I have always wished that for myself.
And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.”
This script reminds you to keep pushing while being open to new ideas and opportunities.
8. “Failure is your stepping stone to greatness.”
This is a modified version of a quote by the super-successful Oprah Winfrey, who is no stranger to ups and downs in her life.
Obstacles and adversity are your best path to success and VPN Provider greatness, according to The Obstacle Is the Way. Only by trying and failing repeatedly and relentlessly will you develop a growth mindset, rather than a fixed one.
9. “You are the greatest.”
Muhammad Ali said, “I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.”
Tell yourself you are the best at what you do, and let that inspire you to take action to get there.
10. “What good shall I do this day?”
Benjamin Franklin asked himself this question first thing every morning.
The message is to first think about doing good. If you can solve other people’s problems, they will value you. This is a win-win mentality that accelerates success for you and everyone you interact with.
What do you think of these “flip it around” self-talk scripts? Comment below and click “Share” to inspire your friends!
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